you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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