My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
