My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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