Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Those nachos came to me in a dream
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
