Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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