Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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