Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
