I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
