im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
