Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
