Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
