I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
