i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
