The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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