Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
