never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize