i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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