I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
