Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
