my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
