Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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