I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
