Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
