i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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