I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
