I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize