we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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