dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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