Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
