ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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