drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
