I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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