it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.