She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
