Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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