Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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