I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
