Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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