he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
