She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the condom got lost in my hair
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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