The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
