Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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