He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
