A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
