My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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