you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.