i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.