please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian