They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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