If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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