So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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