he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
