i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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