My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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