I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
