can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
