I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
are you so shy because you have an std?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
