now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
