remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize